Post trail dust off and reacclaimation

Well I’m back in San Diego. Physically I am anyways, my mind and heart are somewhere else.

So let’s see the Burn was way different for me this year. The weather was crazy, windy, dusty, cold (this has been the coldest summer on record for me, seriously), and the art was stirring, but there were SO many people. Going to the burn right after the trail might have been a bit over ambitious on my part, I admit. At least I had some down time in between and wasn’t just dropped directly into that or I may have lost it. Honestly it was a bit more intense than I thought it would be.

No sooner than I got to the playa I got in a tiff with a dear friend. We worked it out but I really internalize it and just wanted to hide out in my tent sanctuary, that did not exist. (note to self there is no such thing as a minimalist burn) It was very conflicting having so few things for months then being around all the excess on the playa. Also, even though self expression is stressed at the burn, I felt more ‘myself’ on trail. On the playa there is a need to ‘dress with flare’ that seemed like a mask to me. Nevertheless I got myself through it, left my Brooks Cascadia in the temple with a note that took forever to write with all the crying. Those were great shoes, letting them go was like closing a chapter I didn’t want to end. The random connections didn’t really happen this year. Reconnecting with new/old camp mates and distant friends was much more what I needed and enjoyed.

Now that I am back in SD the finality of it all has hit pretty hard. Trail life was, well simpler, everything now is overwhelmingly complicated. Agh. The weirdest things have been throwing me for a loop. It is hard i’m sure for people to understand the difficulties associated with coming off the trail. Like driving, I hate driving now, i just do. Why does everything have to be attached to an address? Why am I so broke but, I have so much stuff? Agh. All I really want to do is climb in my sleeping bag and hide. But I cannot, because I have “things” to do. That and it is like 100 degrees! (i am loving that part!)

Luckily I have friends who are allowing me to crash at their home while I “get it together”. Thanks Colleen and Mike. And yes, I am “getting it together” albeit slowly. First, I need to get a job or two even. Because………..wait for it…….I’m preparing for the Camino de Santiago!!!! A girl’s gotta have a dream!!!