About 40 days out from starting my hike and I’m getting in trail mode. Making lists checking them twice. I don’t read blog obsessively like I did before the PCT anymore. However, I might checkout a hiking movie or two, listen to some podcasts. I really got into podcasts on the CDT, I like listening while I hike. My mind flows differently when I’m hiking, ideas come in waves, creativity is stirred. Listening to podcast reminds me of times gone by when people would sit around the radio to listen to a show, you know like before tv. Listening while I hike, I can let my mind imagine the stories in vivid color, get wild ideas about my next adventure and learn some things. Continue reading “Something to Talk About – Bonnie Raitt”
Category: Hiking
Perfectly Flawed – Otep
Before I started hiking I was 211 pounds. I never really mentioned it or talked about it here on the blog. Really I didn’t want it to be a “thing”. Weight loss wasn’t my reason for doing a thru hike and I have an adverse reaction to being labeled. Prior to losing the weight I outwardly played the “I’m happy with my body game”. While inside I knew that wasn’t true. You can lie to everybody and everybody will lie to you saying “you look fine”, but you can’t lie to yourself.
The PCT blogs I started out reading were these girls pulling 20 mile days the first day on the trail! Ok, I thought guess that’s what I’ll do too, if they can, I can. So I started hiking 2 miles, then 5, then 10. When I hit ten miles I was elated and deflated, crap 10 miles….I have to do that like twice. But I quickly learned my body was capable of more than I thought. Turns out you just need to keep going. Or have a 10 mile out and back, training loop where your only option is to walk back.
PSA: It’s gonna hurt, you will cramp and be in pain. But pain is just weakness leaving the body, or so drill sergeant told me. However preparing yourself physically can make a world of difference.
By the time I hit the trail I had lost 60 pounds! I was looking good, feeling strong and loving the compliments, yo. But I wasn’t at my goal weight, you know that magic number that will make everything right in the world. Now I didn’t change my eating habits, I just hiked, a lot. I was determined to be ‘ready’ for the trail. It’s worth mentioning that I have eating issues when I hike. Most people can hike and eat, I cannot. When I hiking I just have zero taste for anything. If I fill my day-pack or hip belt pockets with snack they will be there when I stop for the day, unless I force it down. One of the joys of hiking is all that food you get to eat. Unfortunately for me that hunger doesn’t come till I stop moving.
That first day on the PCT I did 20 miles, I was completely spent but I did it. Fast forward a month I was hiking the Sierras and losing weight due to a major calorie deficit. Down 20 more pounds I hit my goal! Yeah…..no not yeah. I was scarily thin and weak. Weak was not what I’d envisioned. I ended up getting off trail in Bishop for a few days and I just sat and ate. That magic number meant nothing if I couldn’t get to Canada.
Returning home from the trail I was still pretty thin. I got less compliments and more “girl you need to eat”. Luckily I was down with that idea, mmm non trail food.
Over the next two years I would hike two more trails the AT and CDT. My weight fluctuating, up when off trail, down during hiking season. I’m maintaining strong and healthy though. I still have eating issues on trail (hiker hunger eludes me). But I’ve come to terms with my weight, there is no “magic” number. I’m heavier than that, stronger than that and ok with that.
Pictures Of You -The Cure
Why did I watch that?
The 2015 Pacific Crest Trail Class Video. Think I’ve watched it at least half a dozen times. It makes me happy and brings me to tears every freakin time. I might be biased but 2015 was the best year to thru hike the PCT, what a bunch of characters. Forever I’ll be grateful that it was my first long distance hiking experience. So many weird, crazy, amazing, painful, life changing, heart stopping things happened in that 4.5 months. Let me tell you, I’ve seen a lot of things from RAGBRAI to TTITD (and other stuffs be we’re not gonna get into that right now) but thru hiking, well, that’s living. I could go on and on (as some of you know) but why….there’s a video!
Oh you can see me at minute 1:29:42……representation yo!
Just for playing along……..here’s bonus, never shown footage from my private collection.
8/13/15- “The price is high. The reward is great.” – Maya Angelou
Girls in their summer clothes – Bruce Springsteen
As a long distance hiker spending 4-6 months on the trail at a time you get a little dirty. In an effort to be ultra-light (backpacking that emphasizes carrying the lightest and simplest gear safely possible for a given trip) most hikers only have one outfit for this entire time. This can leave a hiker looking pretty haggard and getting some side glances from people in town. But I’m here to tell you roaming around in the woods is no excuse to not look good. Even if you are just going out for a day hike looking good is an avenue to feeling good! It can even put a little pep in your step!
AT Conservancy
runaway? runway ready! day hiking diva!?
Now I don’t always look pulled together, but I try. Last year for the CDT I had the cutest teal Brooks top and thrift store skirt and matching teal trail runners. Unfortunately that outfit was pilfered at the gym the day before I left for the trail so I ended up with a last minute Walmart dress/plaid top uncoordinated ensemble. It worked fine but for pictures I looked like a hot mess, not cute. Looking nice is important, well for me it is, don’t judge. This one time I went into a runners shoe store in search of trail shoes. The guy helping me knew all about shoes, arch supports and toe boxes. He brought out a plethora of shoes for me to try on, but when I asked him “do you have some in a cute pink or teal” he was stumped. He replied “color doesn’t matter”. Ha! Wrong answer I replied heading for the door. Seriously, I’ve painfully strutted around in 3 inch black suede heels, but I looked so good. Now I highly recommend you getting some comfortable (preferably broken in) footwear for the trail. That being said if you want a nice color don’t be afraid to seek that out.
Now a days there are a multitude of options in ladies outer wear. If you can’t find your look in the sporting goods store, outfitters, online or just don’t want to break the bank; I got two words for ya. Thrift Store. There’s probably a flowy dress or skirt in there just waiting for ya! Throw on some leggings and boom you’re ready to crush it. I found a nice butterfly dress, that coincidentally matched my Dirty Girl gaiters, for three bucks at a thrift shop. It’s my “town dress” for when my hiking clothes are in the laundry! Turns out it’s also great for pictures and works with my tutu. Tutu!?! Yess, I wear a tutu (that I have to carry for about 50 miles) at the end of my hikes. It’s fun, cute and makes me happy, kinda like my Cargo Tail. Wait, what? Yes it’s fun and people interact or speak to me on trail because of it. Hiking is about the challenge, feeling empowered, blah, blah, blah……and fun, don’t forget to pack your fun! Besides fashion forward hiker trash get quicker hitches, maybe.
Hiking with my new ULA circuit backpack
Nice tail. Thanks, I been crushing it!
She believed she could……again
The fact is not lost on me that I did not post a made it to the border post. For those of you who don’t know yet……I made it to Canada (and where you been?). I made it thru, yeah me! That last day is really hard to write about, though. There were so many conflicting feelings, happy but sad, tired yet elated. (that every present question where do I go from here?) Second guessing myself, should I hike faster or slower, enjoy the last miles or get them over with, eat gummy bears or skittles. With a light pack I really couldn’t help but hike fast, I was in the flow. Only stopping to get water and take off clothing as it got warmer. The climb up to the Ptarmigan Tunnel was actually pretty nice, full disclosure I was so hyped on caffeine. Roswell was just ahead of me, we made it to the trail-head, unceremoniously, about the same time. Glad he was there to capture the moment.
That look you get when you realized you walked to Canada and there is no ticker tape parade…..
We then headed down to the actual border crossing to get our passports stamped and chat it up with border patrol. And of course take more pics. Due to fires we ended at the Chief Joseph Pass not the northern terminus at Waterton. Hey Canada is Canada, no?
So yup I made it to Canada…..again! That night I lay in my tent, sipping Chardonnay feeling the feels. It was good. So attempted to thru hike the CDT….well, I hiked it, I survived it, learned from it and grew from it.
Made it to Canada…again
Time for wine and reflection!
cute dress ✓, tutu ✓, carton of chardonnay ✓
Thank you so much for reading (and commenting) my stories of my thru-hike of the Continental Divide Trail. Even more thanks to those that helped me get out there and along the way. Please continue to follow me on my other adventures as I continue to find my way through the vines!
Right Direction – En Vogue
……confidence is silent insecurities are loud…..
My shakedown hike went well. I got in 17 miles, probably would have gotten the whole 20 in but I kept getting distracted. There were pictures I needed to remember to take, the hidden tire swing and waterfalls. It was a good day, my pack sat nicely on my hips and felt light on my shoulders. Got a bunch of compliments on my tail (oh yea and it glows), found a great spot to clip it on my pack.
Hiking with my new ULA circuit backpack
I started in the Los Penasquitos Canyon Preserve, it’s a pretty flat trail with some small climbs if you deviate onto the side trails. Plus there is a waterfall, there was a lot of people so I didn’t linger there. My new hiking outfit is cute and comfortable but I will have to remove the sewn in shorts from the skirt. This Danskin skirt I dug out of storage, I quickly remember why i never used it. The cut of the skirt is good and fits great, now. However when I was larger it did not. Most hiking skirts are not cut for girls with curves or hips. The built in shorts ride up because I do not have a thigh gap, so they will be replaced by some more spandexy capri’s!
Been attempting to post all week, I have like 24 drafts, I get a paragraph in and then nothing. Had a bit of an emotional meltdown this week, too. The internets really got me down mid week. Social media is exhausting and can be emotionally draining. So many many comments, everyone has a lot to say but there really doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of listening. I seems, and I could be wrong, that if you are not screaming or waving your flag you are not visible. If you have a dissenting opinion you may have a shit storm headed your way. Again I could be wrong. This is just how I see it through my glasses colored by my experiences. (new mantra: step away from the computer, put phone down and go outside)
It is only apropos as I prepare for my next hike that I feel this mix of emotion and a general life shift. The Arizona Trail is gonna test me with water issues and logistics. The Appalachian Trail will be about closure. This chapter of my life is coming to an end, yep. What is the next chapter…..don’t know…..I got writers block.
Come Talk To Me – Peter Gabriel
Heck I recently had someone say to me ‘hiking is that all you ever talk about’? No and Yes. It is my current passion. It brings me joy, happiness, makes me feel strong and it takes me to magical places. So yeah, I talk about it A LOT. No, I will not dim my light for you. If my happiness and joy thing is too much for you get to stepping, I’m fine with that. I’m trying to do something here. What? I don’t know. Be happy, live my truth…I’m figuring it out as I go, ok. I’m on a non-traditional journey. Awhile back I was really into bicycling, biked across the state of Iowa like 11 times and did a Duathlon. There was a lot of prep and training that went along with that. Similarly with hiking there is a lot that goes into getting ready for a hike. The journey begins long before I take the first step.
My wheels loaded!
I tried a Duathlon…….
So I will be writing and talking about it. If you have a “thing” you are passionate about put it out there, talk about it, I’ll listen. Once I planned a bike trip from Iowa to Mississippi. I talked about it a lot, did tons of planning. I only made to St. Louis (it’s hotter than blazes along the Mississippi river in June) but I tried. Go ahead, follow your passion as they say. When I decided to do the PCT I had never done anything like that before. But I wanted to see if I could, I did! I have my sights set on some other wild ideas (well outside my wheel house) that I may fail at spectacularly, but I owe it to myself to try. What are you gonna try this year? Do it with passion, shine your light!
In The End – Linkin Park (GEAR REVIEW)
Before I go through my gear list and review each item, please note that most of my gear I have used for the past three years. While I ended up sending home some gear home and shaving a couple of pounds off of my base pack weight, the only gear I purchased while out on the trail was a poncho. Please remember gear doesn’t have to be expensive, I had gear gifted to me, bought things from Walmart/Thrift Store. That being said invest in some quality gear, take care of it and it will serve you well.
Sleeping bag – Big Agnes Mirror Lake 20 degree
Rating: Love
Take again: Yes
This is the same sleeping bag and it is awesome. There are a lot more expensive bags out there but this one worked incredibly for me. After three years of getting it crazy dirty and washing it, that thing still has loft and is STILL toasty warm. Highly recommend it and take care of your bag.
Backpack: ULA Circuit
Rating: Love
Take again: Yes and Yes
One heck of an investment. Love this backpack. Full disclosure I did tear the back panel on the CDT but nothing a little duct tape and sleeping pad patches couldn’t fix. That pack has held 7 days of food and 3 liters of water and all my crap at once. It rides nicely on my shoulders and rest nicely on my hips without chafing.
Tent: REI Passage 1
Rating: Love
Take again: Yes
I was gifted this tent at PCT meetup! For me free standing tent is where it’s at. I’m just not that into staking out a tent. This is a one person tent but there is plenty of room in there for my pack and shoes. No condensation issues, it sets up quickly and handles the rain like a boss.
Tent: Nemo Sleeping Pad
Rating: Good
Take again: Yes
First time taking a blow up pad. This one takes a bit to blow up but it is comfy to sleep on and it doesn’t make that crunchy noise some pads make when you lay on it. I also used a piece of my old z lite (for day sitting) underneath it as I was bit concerned about popping, but nope.
Tent: Jet Boil
Rating: Love
Take again: Yes
I went stove-less on the PCT and then the Esbit stove on the AT. Well it makes a big difference to be able to have hot coffee and a hot meal. Once I got to Montana, the weather warmed up (and being close to finishing) I sent the Jet Boil home. Overall it’s a great stove, heats quickly, fuel is easy to find and except for the large fuel canister I kept getting it takes up very little room. 
Trekking Poles: MSR Talus Sure lock
Rating: Like
Take again: Yes
Honestly I don’t use trekking poles very much, mostly just for crossing streams or when I really want to move faster. Otherwise I just don’t like have things in my hands, constantly. These actually were gifted to me on the PCT from the Dinsmore’s (Hiker Haven) after I broke my other poles (at the time I needed poles to hold up my other tent).
Shoes: Saucony
Rating: Good and inexpensive
Take again: nah, going back to Altra, maybe
Full disclosure, I bought these shoes because a) they are inexpensive and b) the teal color matched my hiking outfit, don’t judge. They are great for day hikes and in the gym, but they took a real beating on the trail. Lesson learned, invest in some good shoes. I did the AT in Altra running shoes, they were awesome and I should have had them on the CDT. Heck I’m wearing them right now……and they come in great colors to match your outfit, oh and gaiter traps! (side note: old shoes make great planters)
Laundry Puffy Jacket
Rating: Love
Take again: Yes
This jacket came from…..wait for it…..Burlington Coat Factory! I got it for like $60 in their winter close out sale. Thing is great. Kept me warm and made a great pillow too! Sure you can spend twice as much on an ultra light coat, or not.
So that is me and my stuff. Oh that dress is totally from Walmart! (notice the bags on my feet, stepped up my game later with Neoprene socks) If you have any gear questions…..ask away!
Blue October – Into The Ocean
It has been a little over a month since I finished my thru hike. You would think after 3 long hikes I would be better at reintegration, but I’m not. Returning to
“regular’ life has not gotten easier. The me I am on trail is different from the me in regular life. The same but different, two sides of the same coin. I long to
be back on the trail because I love the person I am when I’m there. Stronger, more confident, inspired, independent, the stripped down basic beautiful me. If you
are wondering, yes I will be back on the trail. There are miles on the AT that stand between me and the Triple Crown and I want that, for me. If nothing else I’ve
learned not to let anything stand between me and my goals.
Being back in regular life means dealing with all the things. Adulting. There are so many things to do.
Had a lovely welcome back party with friends. (thanks everyone
who came and put up with my absence in the middle of it all!) Still so many people I would like to reconnect with. So much changed while I was away, births, deaths,
engagements, marriages, and situation rearranging. As I moved up the trail life moved on, I knew that it would. I’m catching up, processing and oh my gawd the politics.
My car needed to be repaired (darn little beasties chewed my wires). Posted one message and so many people offered help, thank you. (special thanks Nick for going
out of his way to repair my janky car and deal with my crazy that day, love you) I needed to find a place to live and work. I am deeply grateful to my friends for
taking me into their homes when I return. I’m finally getting some work but the commute makes me question my sanity.
There are also the internet things to do. You might have noticed I have posted in a while. Some posts I only wrote half of and never finished, like my gear review.
Those awesome ladies over at HLAW (Hike Like a Woman) gave some great advice about blogging. That’s when I realized I really need to redo my blog too! Honestly it all
got a bit overwhelming for a bit. So when some friends invited to hike the Eastern Sierras with them I was like, “Yes, yes, and yes!!”
PSA: Prolonged contact with nature can promote positive mental health.
Four days in the Eastern Sierras, just what the doctor ordered. Short hikes to beautiful lakes, fall colors, laughter and marshmallows around a campfire.
Can’t think of a better way to kick of birthday month! Friends with birthdays (thanks Leslie including me in your celebration at the Hollywood Bowl, great time! All this time in California and I’m only just now seeing the Hollywood sign!)
Oh and MY BIRTHDAY! This being my 46th trip around the Sun, a time of reflection is in order. 20, heck 10 years ago I never would have imagined this is where I would
be in life. Even with all the craziness I love what my life has become. It’s not for everybody, but its mine.
Where there’s smoke..
There was an Apocalyptic feel leaving camp for Many Glacier. Going to the Sun Rd was closed over night from fire. So it was weird crossing the road and there being zero traffic. Just the day before it was teaming with tourist headed for the falls. I am so coming back to Montana when it’s not on fire. First thing the permit was changed (Waterton was evacuated) so Chief Mountain it is! The rangers are keeping tabs on where hikers are in case conditions change, that’s nice to know.
Bears oh my!
Luckily, Garbelly told us about the Ptarmagin Tunnel trail it runs 20 miles, through a tunnel then right out at Chief Mountain at the border.
Smokey Montana
Another round of boys showed up that evening. Hikers are stacking up with the closures and rerouting. Moist, Roswell, Quicksilver and Mac (always fun to meet a blogger in person. We sat around laughing, chatting and eating.
I was excited and sad only one more day on trail. Had fun walking about the campsite talking to other campers, checking out their car camping rigs. A car camping road trip may be in my future!
Toasted Toad helped with us slack packing! That was fun for me, even the climb to the tunnel, then it was downhill (except for the last 3 miles uphill, really). Embracing the Brutality, yep…….almost there…..
Ptarmigan Tunnel
wandering chardonnay 