Having trouble describing the way I am feeling lately. It’s really a hodgepodge of feelings. In the last month I have connected with some really amazing people and that makes me happy (but also sad that I will soon have to be away from them for so long on the trail.) It is probably completely irrational but I am kinda worried I’ll be forgotten. Maybe I’m just being silly but it is the way I feel. Maybe it is just the realization of things actually happening that has me all wound up.
In the last week I purchased burning man tickets, sent in my Canada permit and my PCT permit. I traded out for a different tent(six moons- Scout), started 2 different jobs, and considered joining the circus (i know, that’s story for later). My social life has been at cruising altitude for a while now, that is fun an all, but the hermit in me is clutching a parachute and checking for exits.
Breathe………don’t panic……….this to shall pass. Freak out tomorrow. Aw heck it’s Friday, let’s wait and freak out on Monday!
3 thoughts on “What is this feeling…..”
There is NO WAY we will forget about you!
I’d really like to be at your send-off. Also, will you be sharing the addresses where we can send things to your mail stops?
Thanks Liz! Yea, the addresses should be coming out soon!
I will try again.
40 and 38 years ago, I took off on 2 extended 10 month trips from Lapland to Morocco, from John O’Groats to the Cookie Shoppe of Istanbul. During that 20 months of travel, I was chased by 2 demons.
The first demons said that I would be forgotten by those I had left behind in LA and in a way I was. I left So Cal and headed out. They stayed behind. When I came back, we were all different. Maybe it was me, maybe it was them. But eventually I left the demon behind and the next 3 decades just happened. I continued to travel and now that I am back in LA, many of them are still here. But my demon is gone.
My second demon came when I would be looking at a pyramid or a snowy ridge of an Alp or a old woman leading an old goat down an ancient street. I would turn to my side and say Wow…look at that and there would be no one there.
In many ways, that demon is still here, but I have learned to live with isolation. It isn’t such a bad place and I am not such a bad person to be with.
But those are my demons. You may have fear. But you have conquered it. If not, you would never have taken the first step. You may have questions, but the answers will find you along the way.
I hope your journey continues to be a wonderful one and thank you for sharing.